one more note, reading your last post, when you talk about your W leaving you with two screaming kids and so on, you sound like you think you are some type of victim. You're not. It's up to you to take control of YOUR situation, no matter what's thrown at you.
when you're at your job and something comes up, do you just lay down and die? I doubt it. you probably roll with the punches and make it work out in the end. your W is throwing fast balls at your head right now it may seem. but what are you going to do? cry about it? take control of you and stop worrying so much about what she's doing. she's in charge of her and you are in charge of you. once you take control BACK from her of your life and your feelings, you'll begin to see things differently. you won't be a victim anymore.
one note, standing up for youself doesn't involve starting conflicts or getting embroiled in the middle of them, it's just the opposite. Once you are back in control of you, you now have the ability to control how you react to what she says and does. THAT'S when she will sit up and start to take notice of what you're doing, without you ever having to say a word to her about it.
Sandi2 pointed out to me how i was taking control back away from my W concerning my emotions, through my actions. when she pointed that out, my confidence grew in myself and what i was doing 100 fold. take control back, man. YOU CAN DO IT!
