Joshua, I admit to being codependant. It is something I am trying to work on.
visit the link below and read every single article on that site about codependency. it's something i found when i first understood how much of a codependent R i was in. it helped me tremendously.
I put my value of myself on my marriage. I always figured as long as I am married, everything else will fall into place. I have even based my relationship with God on ny marriage.
your M does NOT define who you are as a person. Your actions do. talk is cheap my friend. start doing more in every aspect of YOUR life.
Originally Posted By: Orich
I think I am a good person, overall. I do need to learn to trust that.
you don't think it, YOU BELIEVE IT WITH EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING. Your trying to be a better you, you're trying to save your M. you should know you are a good person by the things you already do. Recognize it and realize it, it's all real and true.
Originally Posted By: Orich
I have a long way to go, I don't pretend that it will be quick and easy. I backslide often. Like tonight. My W just left to go out with her friends leaving me here with 2 screaming kids crying for their mother. She got all dolled up to go be with people other than me, and she doesn't want to be bothered with the kids. These things hurt, I always believed in family first.
let me ask another question, and this one you can answer here if you want. if you had a happy M, and your W wanted to go out or did go out, would you try and stop her or complain about it? or would you encourage her to go out and have fun with some friends while you offer to watch the kids and spend time with them? i understand that's not your current sitch, but really what would you do if it were the case? That's one way to know sometimes if the choices YOU are making are the right ones.
don't worry man, we're not gonna abandon you. it's tough sometimes, but it's far from being impossible. my W is 170 miles away and she knows i'm changing from that far away, i didn't think it was even possible, but it sure is. you have the benefit of your W seeing it and experiencing it first hand. You shouldn't fear losing your W. You would be fine without her, just as you will be fine if your M survives this current mess. YOU are doing your best, and that is all you can do. Take pride in that fact. It's one more thing to recognize in yourself as being a great person.
