can i ask you a few questions? i've followed your sitch on and off for awhile now, and i see you making progress.
However, there are signs in your posts that you are putting up that you might not have noticed.
What is your opinion of yourself? Irrespective of what your wife says?
Do you believe you are a good person? Why or why not?
Do you believe you are a good father?
Do you believe you are a good son to your folks?
Are you successful at work?
Do you believe you are being a good H to your W?
I don't want you to respond to these questions in a post here. I want you to sit down and really think hard about them on your own.
You are focusing so much on the past still, you are forgetting today is another day to turn it all around. I'm not talking about your M here, i'm talking about YOU.
Make a list of everything that you are proud of yourself for. Then read it over and over, until you understand and BELIEVE that you are a good person, NO MATTER WHAT ANYBODY ELSE SAYS.
After that, make a short list of things you aren't happy about yourself with. This will be what you are going to work on over the next week or two. You can make changes in yourself very quickly, i know i did. These things you are not happy with yourself about should have NOTHING to do with your W or your M. You can't control what she thinks or feels, so forget even trying to do those things.
This is for you to do. Not her. It's for you and your kids. This will help you develop the PMA you seem to be lacking severely in right now. You CAN make yourself happy. You can never count on your W, kids, parents, friends, or anyone else to do it for you. The thing is when you are happy being who you are, you can begin to share who you really are with the ones you care about. That's what will draw people to you. I believe that is the essence of DB'ing.
Hope this all makes sense. I'm not known for my communication skills lol. I know you can do it, just don't put it off. Like i said, every minute is another chance to turn it all around.
