Agh! He's detached completely!

[IWillSaveOurMarr]

Kept busy, busy, busy yesterday, which was great because then I was not only out of the house, but having fun and getting new perspectives, which I need to reinforce that I'm not going crazy or expecting too much from my H, by asking/expecting him to be normal.

I went to my first party w/o the husband and found out that more than a couple people there were also divorced, but I didn't know that. So they could commiserate, more than anyone else. I also don't usually get guys opinions about this stuff, and they all seemed to think that he is really immature and also just after money. I never really considered the immature part, but they're right.

It was also nice to be checked out by the opposite sex again. I'm definately not ready for dating or anything like that, but I appreciated someone giving a damn about my appearance and saying so, especially considering my weird H doesn't even look me in the eye anymore. I felt good and confident and wasn't at all ashamed of what's going on, which are big steps for me in this.

Had fun playing with some of the little ones there as well as watching them play with sparklers.

Oh, H noticed that his ring was gone. He cleaned the entire room, I'm assuming to try to find it, but he didn't find it. Asked me if I had it, but I did my "you took your ring off?" question and he said "I took it off because I was angry at you". Is he a two year old? How mature is that?

I then got in my little quip about "well, I guess it's time to move on anyways". What I'm doing by this is taking something hurtful, him taking off his ring, and using it to give me the strength to do something I need to do eventually anyways, take off my wedding band/engagement ring. Now I'm having second thoughts about it though, and think maybe I should wait until we are really divorced before I do this?

Have had a good day in that I've kept pretty busy and done the things that are important to me. I'm glad I made it to church as well. I have been checking out local churches and this one seems the most comfortable. In fact, they use some of the same hymns from my church growing up.

Bought a trellis for some morning glories as well as for a moon flower plant, and surprisingly, the H didn't complain that I was "digging up his lawn" once again. Maybe becasue I used very little of the lawn, and the trellis is not permenantly attached or anything. It just looks a heck of a lot nicer than looking at the ugly, plain garage.