How's it going? At times I mull over your words before replying. Have you ever found that what you post in response to another is really a message meant for yourself?
I'm not looking for validation or approval, but I'm also not looking for disapproval -- if I wanted more of that, I have a WAW I can go to.
Posting on bulletin boards is tough. Once you hit submit, it's out of your control. People can read whatever they want into it.. either telling you what they think you want to hear, sharing their beliefs or even stirring the pot.
So, my friend of words... you can do whatever you want. That is your choice. That is what is in your control.
Alright.. I'm going stream of consciousness, Smiles.. since my thoughts are jumbling..
Consider no longer saying "If it's good for the goose, it's good for the gander." It sounds like justification and entitlement. If she does something stupid and hurtful, it's okay if you do? Her weekend getaway is nothing mysterious or foreshadowing. It's a charity event planned before the bomb though the physical separation may cast it in a different light.
How are you doing? How's the old psyche? How true to yourself are you being in counseling? Do you still go? Your posts read (to me) like a boatload of hurt, anger and glee that you can focus on a bit o' booty.
Now I tend to be conservative (or insecure) or know myself. I decided to honor my vows until the divorce was final. It was something I did for me out of principle, weenie-ness, and knowing I couldn't handle the stress. Then again, ex never took the kids opting for a one hour dinner most weeks so I was never alone.
So.. you can boink to your heart's content.. but understand why. You're lusty and a tasty morsel is dangling without salacious reach of your tongue. And I don't know you or your needs.
What I do know, what comes across to me is that your wife's physical departure, letting you assume she was renting a house has blow the lid off. And you have lots of stuff to blow.
Growth comes through being honest with yourself, not being perfect.
Take care of you.. the soulful presence inside. When ex left, my goal was to come out of this as I went in.. a good caring person. Though I have to admit, watching the "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore." really opened a raw seam of emotion.
Sex is a good thing. Opportunities will always avail themselves. Consider the total picture.
This isn't validation, disapproval or a reacting to a jab.. it's based on my experience of being kooky, sweet, quirky me.
