Well its been an interesting couple of days here. Yesterday since I was off for the holiday, and found out W had to work, thought I would be nice and bring her a cup of coffee and donuts for everyone she works with(this is a 180 for me). Went Ok, she was a little mad at me for doing so. I just took a deep breathe and listened to what she said. Went on my way and enjoyed the sunny day. After she got out of work, I was at home cleaning house, getting ready for S3 to come home from vacation. Heard dog bark over vacuuming - went to door didn't see anything - turned around and W snuck up behind me - scared the s&*t out of me. She came to discuss us and what she wants - she asked me if I really think it can work out - I told her I do - and asked her to give me time to prove it. She didn't fully agreed and then brought up the lawyer - and said that she would consider putting D works on hold - but I better not slip up and be the old me. We talked for about an hour - She told me about a party at cousins that she was already late for - told her to have fun and be careful. She initiated a hug goodnight and it was a long tight hug - one that I haven't felt from her in a long time.
That brings me to Saturday morning - me up at 7am - phone rings at 8am - W is calling - asks if I am up - yes - Is it OK if I come in? Didn't register at first until I heard the knock at the door. She partied with cousin till about 3 - passed out and then came here. She wanted to help clean up S3 toys and put some away before he came back today. We talked during the day - she told me she wants things to work out, but is also scared - I can understand that - she asked me what has caused the change in me all of a sudden - had fun explaining to her that I am fighting for her and to keep our family together, and finding out who I am at the same time. She said to me will you dance at cousins wedding in October with me(i never dance - told her I will and I will as part of my 180s). We talked about what each of us had been doing since separating - she told me about a date she went on - and that she really wasn't interested in the guy after spending time with him - although she did say they do talk daily. I told her I started riding mountain bike again - and she asked who the bike that i was riding belonged to - orginally told her a friend to avoid conflict over buying a new bike - admitted to her it is mine and the price of it - I could see a bit of relief in her face - like she was hoping or thinking i would continue to cover it up.
She then told me to plan a short getaway - similar to retroville or a couples thing if I was serious about M and working things out. Boy was I shocked considering I had already looked into it for if/when the time may be right. I told her the only way that we can work this out is if nothing from the past is ever brought up no matter what, and that she can talk to other guys like the one she went out with - but not on a daily basis. She agreed.
When it was getting time to pick up S3 from airport, she asked what I was doing for dinner - I wasn't sure at this point. She took out some steaks, and said she would run up to store and get some veggies(her choice (I'm not a veggie person - but since all of this I try everything(180) also helping me get in shape) to go with them and we will have a barbecue. Ok now I started stressing a little - 4+ months no really interaction and now she wants to have dinner and go watch fireworks after. All I could do is keep PMA and act as if nothing was uncomfortable about the situation. She even wanted to go for ice cream afterward, she dropped S3 and I off at home - no contact just a good night - told her to call so I know she got home safe.
She did and said she would talk to me in the morning. I'm actually looking forward to the morning to see what she says.
Oh and just so you know - I have been using a bit of the DB'ing techniques, but at the same time I am also trying The Love Dare. The movie really had a large impression on me - a lot of similarities with my stitch, figured I can;t get any worse off the where I am.
Me 35 W 30 S 3 M 7 : T 13 yrs Separated 2/20/09 My Story
