Well, just back from fireworks with W and D. Kept the mood light and happy. Played with D and smiled with W. Was harder than I thought it would be. Kept catching myself thinking everything was ok. Then it was like waking up from a dream to the reality of what really is right now. It took everything I had not to reach for her hand or tell her I miss her. Ouch.
Back home now, in separate rooms. Don't know how W took the evening - not for me to worry about.
At least I'm in a place where I can handle my emotions rather than them handling me. Numb though. Painfully numb, if that makes sense.
If I dwell on it long enough, it's just going to get me down. So, I won't. God is in control. Of my M. Of me. And of the ultimate outcome. And, tomorrow is a new day of opportunity.
