Finally trying to move on without H

[beepee]

so the day is almost over and i havent done much, im really glad its almost night time so i can go to sleep and not think.

i moved some stuff that i had brought home from the studio into the basement. and then i read a ton of posts here which took up a few hours which helped and then just searched the web for ways to stop a divorce.

i talked to my friend about the email i sent my exH and all she has to say was I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY and then said she had to go. i have to say im really dissapointed with that

i asked my ex H to email me back and tell me that he was not in love with me anymore. thats all i want to hear from him and then i can move on. we were supposed to meet next week to talk and go watch a movie but he emailed me and said that he cant do it and hes not ready and that he doesnt know when he'll see or talk to me. i couldnt have that lingering in my head, i just couldnt. so i told him that i need this closure, i just need him to tell me that hes not in love with me anymore and he wont hear from me again. he hasnt written back, i hope he does. i really feel like i need that closure to move on.

im so confused. i dont want to let him go, but i dont want my life to stay the way it is. i feel like im being jerked around here. is it wrong of me to ask him to give me this closure? he says its over and a divorce is final so it shouldnt be hard for him to tell me that hes not in love with me right..i mean, i know he loves me but i dont think hes IN love with me since he wants the divorce..but he wont say it, not yet anyway. patiently waiting for a reply..that might not come and if it does, wont come for a very long while..