i actually sat down the other day and wrote out a list of what i want in a R. i don't care who it's with next go around, i just know what i can and can't do. i know what DOESN'T WORK for me. i was going to ask how i would know if she actually had some "awakening" in the future and how i would know, but the more i think about it, i think i already do. she's no where even CLOSE to that point, but i understand what you're talking about "pulling out all the stops" that she might try. the sex thing won't be a problem, i already knew that was a form of control. i control me. i can't control others, and nobody is going to control me anymore. i will make it.
