I was like your W who had been involved with the on-line activity with other men. It is a terrible, terrible addiction! I finally stopped chatting with several men b/c my H found out, then it went to one man and I had an EA with that man.
What I have read from your posts remind me of some movies I have seen where a preditor moves in on an entire family and they are too blind to see the real motives until it's too late.
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Maybe being there will encourage him to pack his bags and find another corner of the country to live.
I don't get your passive thinking where this guy is concerned. First of all, you should have put your foot down at the very on-set of him entering her life. When you discovered that they had had a PA....did you not see red flags flying everywhere? You don't let a stranger enter your family's life and be around your children like that. He's around your W, the kids, and now grandparents? You need to get your eyes open, mister, and quickly! Don't be a fool. The longer you are away and out of the picture, the more this guy is taking your family as his own.
I don't know how old you are. You have mentioned growing up and making changes. She must be either pulling the wool over your eyes and has you right where she wants you or else she is as naive as you are.
I pray to God he is not a "dangerous" man, but you know nothing about him. And he is there with your children!! You don't know what he may be exposing them to!
Even if he isn't a child molester or would harm any of them physically, sexually, or mentally....and let's say he is okay in that area......he's still moving in on your W. I could talk for hours in the different ways he could abuse her, but I won't. Let's say that he isn't like that and he seems to be a pretty nice guy ( ). He is giving your W all she is suppose to be getting from a H. DO YOU GET THAT??? Why in the name of God would you sit on your a$$ and allow another man to move into your family's life and you sit where you are and say, "but I'm growing up and making changes". Yeah, well you better get up and go protect your family and take back what's yours before they are lost for good.
There is a time that a boy is suppose to be a "man" and fight for his family--and if I ever saw the time for it.....it's now. Now get off your butt and stop defending this jerk and saying he's your W's friend who she had an PA....and you think an EA (?) (....got that kind of in reverse or do you mean she's having an EA now?) I can tell you that they are having both! Anyway.....get off your case and go get your family! Ohhhhhh.......
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
). He is giving your W all she is suppose to be getting from a H. DO YOU GET THAT??? Why in the name of God would you sit on your a$$ and allow another man to move into your family's life and you sit where you are and say, "but I'm growing up and making changes". Yeah, well you better get up and go protect your family and take back what's yours before they are lost for good.