Finally trying to move on without H

[beepee]

i know Gardener, im sorry.. but this is really really hard for me. you dont have to urge me on, i know how annoying my posts are for people trying to move on and im sorry.i just feel like i need to vent and i just feel like this is a good place to do it, even if no one responds.

my goals for tomorrow is actually a huge one that im dreading. its actually not a goal but something i cant avoid. i have to move everything out of my huge studio which is going to take the whole day. lots of tables, sofas, mirrors..and theres no elevator and its on the 3rd floor so thats gonna be tough. ive recruited my brothers and dad to help me so that should be a bit easier. i dont think ill get it finished in one day but itll keep me away from the computer for awhile. i know im going to break down once i get to the studio because of all the memories i had working there with my ex H. but once i get it all done, i dont have to think about it anymore. its been lingering in my head for a long time and its something that i havent wanted to think about doing but the landlord wants everything out asap so i cant avoid it. once i get everything out, i can begin to think about moving out of my parents place.

so thats my goal for tomorrow.