Agh! He's detached completely!

[IWillSaveOurMarr]

* Happy 4th of July! *

I am celebrating my Independence today, truly. I hope you are too.

I have been in a funk the last couple of days and now I think I know some reasons why. First off, I think it's a bit hormonal, but also, I haven't been taking care of my emotional heath in a few important ways...working out, journaling, getting enough sleep, postive self talk and self soothing when I get upset and lastly, reading some postive anti-divorce literature everyday to keep up my strength. Seriously, I think that last bit is just as important to me right now as a multi-vitamin, and I haven't been doing it as I need to.

So I've listed some of the self care things I need to do to take better care of myself in the coming weeks, because I know this is a super stressfull time for me right now, both battling this divorce and the work stress that's going on.

I read a bunch of pages of the DR last night and it really calmed me down before bed. I need to do that more often. In fact, I was having a pretty damn good day today until I found more receipts showing my H's out of control spending. What was especially galling was the huge amount he spent on his ex gf's kids for their birthday. I wonder if she is still his ex right now? Can't go down that cheeseless tunnel right now.

So I had vented, and got myself calmer, when lo and behold, I saw he had left his wedding ring on his desk. I was really really upset and first, then thought, well maybe he didn't take it on the bike ride, and forgot to put it back on. But he loves having a ring on that finger. So, I'm taking it, and I'm putting it in my new safe, and I'm not saying a word about it. Let him be the one asking me where it is or if I have seen it.

I now vow the following:
Every day I will:
* Read at least 1 page in the Divorce Remedy book
* Read or listen to the John Gottman book about marriage or the Harville Hendrix Imago therapy book for either 1 page or 5 mintues, depending on format
* Get a printer/scanner/copier working so I don't need to ever go into my H's office and see these ridculous expense reciepts or whatever I might find (wedding ring off and not being worn).
* Get my shredder working, for the same reason
* Set up a daily and weekly schedule for myself because I now need to have one to properly take care of myself and the stuff I need to get done.
* Go to at least 1 meetup a week
* Workout at least 4x a week
* Throw myself into my worklife, now that I'm back to work
* I will respond to my boss' email Monday
* Come up with a debt repayment schedule
* Balance my checkbook 1x a week and put in the schedule
* I will not do another load of laundry until I fold and put away all the clean laundry sitting out in baskets in my room. Then I will keep this up moving forward.
* I will put up 1 nice piece of art or a print in my office and my bedroom for my enjoyment
* I will make a time 1x a week to change the sheets and stick to that schedule.
* Make my bed every day, just for me, so I have that "tucked in" feeling going to bed every night.
* See if I can still get in to those summer recreation classes by just showing up. This will keep me very busy as well as give me some really fun things to look forward to & more people to meet.
* Just show up for stuff, even if I'm not in the mood
* Try to assume that my H is NOT trying to hurt me when I find huge expenses he's incurred, or see his wedding ring left on his desk. Just think that he's being an idiot temporarily.
* Breathe
* Research more affordable attornies Tuesday, because the one I like is too expensive.
* Try the "take an atty to lunch" option to interview them! It's worth $20 to learn more about their philosophy and get their opinion.
* Find something big and something semi big to look forward to do this summer and the future and start planning
Ideas for this include: road trip to do family tree work, big trip abroad for family tree stuff, trip to see all the waterfalls in the state, etc.
* Work on costume for fair.
* Call the charity to schedule donation pickup
* Plan a camping trip