You have been running on what I call "nervous energy" every since your W left. I think people go through different stages of a S and what you experienced last night was another stage. Maybe it was a test (of some kind) by your own body/mind to see if you could deal when all the energy left your body and you were completely deleted. At least, I got the impression you felt pretty drained. Perhaps it was your body/minds way of seeing if you could "accept" this stage of the R and learn to deal in it or if you would insist on staying where you had been.
When we gain new information in our lives, (depending ,of course, what it is....) I think we get an opportunity to use the information that we were given. You've been given a lot and last night was an opportunity to apply some of that knowledge.
I think you did super good about replying to her email. Knowing how lonely you were and how tempted you had been to text her......I give you a big gold star!
Hope you will be with friends today and not sit home alone.
Later, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
i don't know yet what i'm doing, i have to open at work tonite, so my plans would have to be abbreviated a bit unfortunately. plus it keeps raining on and off here. kinda sucks. some friends invited me out on their boat tomorrow, i think i'm gonna take em up on it =)
So W just responded and asked why i've been ignoring her lately.
i said i haven't just been busy lately. i didn't mean for it to seem that way.
she replied "you have been. how's your holiday?"
i said "i'm on my way to a bbq :)"
"oh i'll leave you alone"
i didn't reply back. everytime she texts me it feels so awkward. oh and i am on my way to a bbq! i'm blowing this pop stand for awhile before work, i need it today.
when people here tell you not to talk to others about YOUR OWN SITCH, there are a couple reasons for this. 1) very few people really need to know what's going on in your life on that personal of a level, but more importantly 2) it helps you from reliving what's happened over and over. this is necessary or you will be STUCK in your current state of emotions.
JR, You're 100% right. And they don't want to hear it and they give well-intentioned but poor advice.
I talk to my IC, you guys, myself, and God. That's it.
As I posted the other day, whenever any of the well-intentioned ask, "So, how are you?", I say, "Better and better." Sometimes it's the truth, sometimes it's not. But it's my stock answer now that prevents many problems.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
So W just responded and asked why i've been ignoring her lately.
i said i haven't just been busy lately. i didn't mean for it to seem that way.
she replied "you have been. how's your holiday?"
i said "i'm on my way to a bbq :)"
"oh i'll leave you alone"
i didn't reply back. everytime she texts me it feels so awkward. oh and i am on my way to a bbq! i'm blowing this pop stand for awhile before work, i need it today.
This was excellent, JR. Always make it about being "busy," and not "ignoring."
I think it was good to reply about the dog, if you don't have kids.
just got off the phone with the W. she texted and asked me to call her later. i said she could call now i just got home.
she started off by asking how come i've been ignoring her, blah blah, blah. i said i really haven't, i've just been busy because it's been so nice outside and stuff. she asked how i got over her so quickly, lol and i said," you know what, i've done some thinking about our past R and realized i was never a bad guy in the M. i didn't always say and do the right things 100% of the time, but i did always mean well. i know it wasn't my fault that it didn't work out, and know it doesn't make me a bad person."
she agreed and said i was never a bad person, and then went on about how much she f'n misses me (her exact words) and that she's discombobulated (lol!) and doens't know how to feel and she's jealous that i can move on so quickly, and that she is wondering all the time what i'm doing and on and on and on.
i didn't say a word. then she said she wanted me to tell her that I don't love her anymore. i asked why i would or even should say such a thing. she thought it would help her get over me. i said no, i'm not becoming the bad guy now and that her asking me to do that IS wrong of her. she backtracked and agreed and said she didn't know what she was doing. she said she was sorry for calling and wanted to go. i said ok, bye.
she was starting to cry and get whiney through parts of the discussion. i stayed calm and listened best i could to her. all in all, i don't feel any better or any worse for talking to her.
OH and she said she was stopping tuesday to drop some stuff off. i said the garage code is still the same, just leave it in there as i'll be out of town that day. lol! she didn't like that, but tough, i'm not changing plans for her, to only sit around wondering if or when she'll even show up.
i know i probably screwed up talking to her, but at this point it's kinda whatever. i miss her less everyday, but i do still think about her often. i don't find myself torn as i was over this whole thing even at the beginning of last week. last nite, as bad as my anxiety was, i think it helped in some ways. i needed to go through that to get to where i am today. i'm glad i didn't come home early from work, and just stayed and stuck it out
So W just responded and asked why i've been ignoring her lately.
i said i haven't just been busy lately. i didn't mean for it to seem that way.
she replied "you have been. how's your holiday?"
i said "i'm on my way to a bbq :)"
"oh i'll leave you alone"
i didn't reply back. everytime she texts me it feels so awkward. oh and i am on my way to a bbq! i'm blowing this pop stand for awhile before work, i need it today.
This was excellent, JR. Always make it about being "busy," and not "ignoring."
I think it was good to reply about the dog, if you don't have kids.
Puppy
gracias senior puppy you've guided me alot in this area and it felt like the right thing to do. thank you for everything you've helped me with.
