What to do when Husband's Gone & Makes No Contact?

[aliveandkicking]

Don't beat yourself up. That doesn't even mean it is over forever. In your sitch I think you need clarity to move into an active mode of healing and self care. You have so much to deal with regarding your own mental health and living situation. Focus on you.

[beepee]

aliveandkicking:
youre right and that is the only thing thats important right now, for me to deal with my own situation and improve my mental health and i feel like this is the only way i can do it and if it means letting him go for good, i need to do it. who knows, maybe he'll come around but i truly doubt it. but either way, im on the road to recovery and rebuilding my life that i lost over the years.

[givingitmyall]

Beepee,

I agree with AAK. You may not realize it, but you have taken a very big step towards detaching. This may or may not bring your H back, but that should not be your concern. Focusing on YOU is your only concern.

[beepee]

givingitmyall:

you are very right. i never saw it that way at all but i have detached havent i? all this time i thought i was doing it by not emailing him but in the meanwhile obsessively checking my email to see if he emailed me at all, etc etc..and that wasnt detaching at all. im not sure if what i just did was a good thing or not, but i think it was the best thing for me to focus on myself and im sick of wallowing in self pity and focusing solely on him. i need my life back, i need to feel happy again, and i know doing this will help me one small step closer to feeling good again.

[givingitmyall]

im not sure if what i just did was a good thing or not, but i think it was the best thing for me to focus on myself and im sick of wallowing in self pity and focusing solely on him.

There you go!!

[aliveandkicking]

Beepee- I suggest you make a list of goals for each day and broader goals and get laser focused. You can make real progress fast if you are disciplined. Keep looking at your plate and when your mind slips to him try to replace that thought with something about you and what you can do.

I think you are going to thrive.

[beepee]

you guys are amazing,
i dont know what i would have done if i hadnt found this place.
the support and guidance and criticisms you have for me have helped me so much to realize that this is all about helping myself and how that is the most important thing right now.
i will definitely make small goals for myself and hope to achieve them and then gradually make the goals bigger.
im not gonna lie, its gonna be extremely difficult not to think about him as i usually do and to check my emails often but i know now that he wont be emailing since i told him not to. so the urge to check wont be there as often as it used to be. im going to miss him soooo much and my heart will ache for him for a long time but im going to do everything in my power to heal my heart so that it doesnt hurt anymore when i think of him, i want to feel good about the happy times we shared and feel good when he crosses my mind.

[beepee]

AHHHHHHHHHHH this is soooo much harder than i could ever imagine.
hes constantly adding new friends (girls) on his facebook page and its killing me.
this is soooo hard.
i dont want to break down, i dont. but this is so hard to take..

[aliveandkicking]

Get off of his facebook page now!!! I canceled mine just to make it easier.

[beepee]

he took me off his facebook page but i can still see who is friends are and hes been adding all these girls. its sooo depressing. to tell me he loves me and then meet all these girls. it just all seems like a total lie now