Thank you Chrissy. You cleared up some things for me and I do appreciate it. I didn't know how to "word" my post concerning goal No. 3, as you could tell. I did not want to be nosey and I did not want to appear to be "cold hearted" and as one poster told me that I was using the "tough love" approach and it didn't work with her... But that was not what I was doing....I just try to tell it like I see it from the WAS POV. Anyway.....so glad you told me that you were looking for his support in helping the children and not wanting to ask him for his "emotional" support. That was the way I should have stated it in my post in the wee hours of the morning....but my brain was about to fry after being on the board for so long.
I most certainly agree that you should discuss with him the arrangements and "support" regarding the children. After all, it is his responsibility as their parent to take care of them. You will have enough to deal with while you are in the hospital. Ten days is a long time! Bless your heart. You know that our emotions are very fragile when we are going through stuff like you are facing. You don't need any concerns over "who's" taking the kids where, etc. I hope that your H will "step-up" like he's suppose to.
A word of caution here, I have learned that men are not very strong when it comes to women's illness's. The more serious it is, the less they seem to know how to deal with it. When they go to the hospital....they don't know what to say and most of them stand there tongue-tied for a few minutes and then give up and leave. I have seen this down through the years with many, many different cases. So....if your H comes across as "cold" or won't say anything....please don't think that it is b/c he doesn't care about what is going on with you. Men just don't know how to handle these things the way women do. I think God gave the females a natural instict of nurturing b/c of when mothers stayed at home with the children all day, they had to deal with emergencies/crises, and other health related issues, when dad was out working. So, dads don't seem to be emotionally prepared to know how to respond. As you see, I go "around by grandma's house" to tell something. (That is an old expression!)
I think you've done a good job explaining your goals and they are good!
I have another question, when your H left, did you tell him to leave or was that his decision?
Oh, you mentioned another thread. Do you have another one or were you refering to somebody's you had posted to?
BTW, (lol>I keep thinking of things to ask......will you be able to have a lap top while in the hospital, or will you even feel like using one? Just was wondering how long it would be before we would here how you were doing.) Yes, I can get quite talkative, Hey, what would life be if everyone was like my H and didn't say anything....ugh! (lol) He's much better now since "Piecing our M back together Again".
Hope you have a good weekend.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
But that was not what I was doing....I just try to tell it like I see it from the WAS POV. Anyway.....so glad you told me that you were looking for his support in helping the children and not wanting to ask him for his "emotional" support. That was the way I should have stated it in my post in the wee hours of the morning....but my brain was about to fry after being on the board for so long.
Hey, what would life be if everyone was like my H and didn't say anything....ugh! (lol) He's much better now since "Piecing our M back together Again".
