I wish I could give a good answer the question about MC. I do know that DB recommends "solution based" MC, which seems to be fairly uncommon. My understanding is that a lot of MC focuses on the past, which doesn't seem to be a really effective. Solution based MC focuses on, surprisingly, solutions! If you can, and since your H still seems willing to go to MC, it might be a good idea to make so phone calls, and see if you can find one that uses solution based techniques.
Whatever you do, I think it would be a good idea to limit R talks to MC, or when H bring it up. And when he brings it up, let him lead. Don't try to push him where he doesn't want to go.
It sounds like he could really benefit from an IC, but you know there's no way you can make that happen. You can support him he ever sounds like he is considering it, of course!
I think going to your family today makes a lot of sense. Time away from the stress could be good. It sounds like he is really stressed, though he brings a lot of it on himself. Maybe if you aren't there he will eventually figure out that you are not the source!
I hope you get a chance to try out your clubs on the course! I'm really not a good golfer... I just try to have fun! I make the clubs because it is fun, and I can do it so much cheaper than buying them!
