I am getting worn out with this

[mvgolfer]

thanks again for the advice/feedback VH!
It sounds like you are quite the golfer..and making your own clubs! You must be pretty serious.

H forgoed the party last night for what he said were 2 reasons: 1) had to get up early today (5 AM) to go golfing with boss 2) didn't want to deal with me and/or the potential questions that would come with going to Mike's. So we went to a movie. When we got back, someone had TP'd his car and some of our house. I thought it was kinda funny and it wasn't really that bad (nothing up high in a tree, etc.) He was totally freaked out and blew up at me, despite me not reacting at all. I said nothing about it, it was all him. I offered to help clean it up(it is supposed to rain today), and he refused. I went out and did it anyway, said nothing while I did it. He then seemed to calm down a bit. Did he think they did it because of me, and therefore he blamed me for it happening? Or was he just being overly sensitive and assumed it was worse than it was? It was upsetting for me to see him so upset. He also has constant diahrrea (sp?). Not that everyone needs to hear that - but he gets that way when he is stressed out. He was haveing REALLY bad bouts of it yesterday evening. And since he has stared this new job,(past 8 months) he has frequent occurrances. I know his (in)ability to handle stress is a contributing factor to all of this. Maybe he will realize that after we are divorced...it's all so sad.

I wish he would get himself to IC or a therapist.

I think I might go visit my parents today. Not sure if I can handle the ususal 4th-type stuff, like hanging out and making small talk, cooking out, etc., so I don't know if I will be doing any of that. But I do think I'd like to see my folks and just simply get out of here for a while.

I tried out the clubs at the range yesterday. I think I will need some time to get used to them, but they are significantly lighter. It will be good to get out and play tomorrow to really see how much better or worse I am.

Talked to our MC yesterday to set up our next session. I told her (again) what our condtion was and that although it's great to have tools for communicating,(what we went over last time) we are in a 911 situation. Then she went on to say how we both need to talk about what is missing from the R, anger issues, etc. etc. Is this normal for MC for people in my type of situation? We have only gone once with this person, but I am so worried that I want each session to 'count', that I want to make sure we each get something out of it. I was wondering how other counselors approach, or would approach helping people in an R that's in a nose dive?

Yes, I need to work more on the detachment. It seems like that's the hardest part.
marsh