thx. the funeral was very nice. Standing room only and there were many tears, but laughs as well. Big theme seemed to be about sinfulness... and how we can all be forgiven. He definitely hurt many, but he was remorseful and I'm glad I knew him. I admire my aunt SO much. I used to not understand how she'd stay with my uncle... I told my parents that now I just am amazed at her strenth. She didn't give up on her H and I don't plan to do that either. I'm going to try NC until Labor Day and see if that change makes any difference in my sitch.
My D mentioned at dinner tonight that she misses H but wonders how weird it would be if he just came back. We had a good honest discussion about how we'd approach it.
I asked if she contacted H on Father's Day. She didn't but said S17 did. He wished H a happy F Day and H replied 'thanks'. H may think it's easy to disconnect from his stepkids and me... or maybe he doesn't but he doesn't talk about it. But it's hard on all of us and I cried in the hot tub tonight... lots of regrets, things I should have been better at, what ifs and if onlys...
Water under the bridge. Now is the time to just take care of myself and the kids. And stand strong... and faithful... and apply the Love is Patient, Love is Kind, Love Bears all Things, Hopes all things... etc. It feel right.
