You came by my thread once to introduce yourself. I'm just now getting around to yours, so glad I have read your thread. I don't know how LBS's do what they do with us WAS!! I would never have that kind of patient! I even wonder if I could have enough "love" that I've seen with good people such as yourself. It never ceases to amaze me.
I agree with YR. If you feel that you are making progress, then you need to go with the flow. As long as you can handle knowing about him and OW........BTW, does he know that you are aware of OW? I figured after all this time that it would be obvious. I also figured that is what brought about the S. But you said you acted as though she didn't exsist.......anyway, I think I've talked my way though that and answered my own question....
I have been on the computer all day talking to DBers and I guess I am just "rambling" now....lol.
About the only thing I have to add about your stitch is the fact that I think one reason it is taking such a long, long time for your H to come around to wanting to return home is the fact he is "afraid" that when if does....things will return to how it use to be. Remember what you said you were like as his W? He doesn't want that "wife" again. He likes the way you are NOW. Maybe he doesn't want to spoil the environment....or connection.....or friendship, by complicating it. Know what I mean? If he returned home....would you become the way you use to be? Right now you don't think you would ever be that person again....if only your H would come back home and let you PROVE to him how wonderful you could be! Right? Well, he's scared. He is like the "turtle" who is slowly sticking his head out to take a peek and then if you "pursue" too much...he'll pop that head back into his shell. Frustrating, isn't it? It takes so long before he'll trust you to the point of keeping that head poked out and then finally taking that first step.....and then slowly walking toward you. He may get scared again and stop walking and stick that head back in that old shell of his. But so far, you've done a marvelous job of maintaining the DB techniques. No way could I have done what you have!
Chrissy, I'll check back with you, okay? I hope you and your family will have a great 4th of July.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
