I was supposed to get divorced tomorrow - part 2

[1853dave]

OK, so I haven't been posting much, because I have slowed down...kind of re-evaluating things, and thinking more about taking care of myself, working, running, swimming, reading, doing stuff with the kids, stuff like that. Still rowing that Limbo Boat upstream, as many of us are doing. Still doing my best to give her space, still appreciate every day that goes by that STILL nothing bad happens...(still waiting for something good from her, though...) Learning to be patient beyond patience...

So, in short, we're still status quo. Which I am currently accepting as OK. Not great, but not bad.... Just OK. And, for right now, that's still OK.

So, I ordered the DVD "Fireproof" online yesterday - and 15 minutes later a coworker hands me the dvd she ordered on Netflix (!) - funny how that happened. Anyway, I watched it last night. At first I wasn't real impressed with the acting, but I stuck it out and it got better...and I liked the message.

For those who are not familiar, the movie revolves around a husband (firefighter) doing the 40 day "Love Dare" in an effort to save his marriage. In the end of the movie, he succeeds, but along the way it seems hopeless. I know I experienced many of the same emotions that the husband did in the movie (and I bet many of you have also).

So, my question is this: Has anyone on the forum utilized the Love Dare with success? I do not doubt its validity - I'd like to implement it ASAP (and have probably done many of the steps with Divorce Busting). But, how do you implement the Love Dare while Divorce Busting? Can it be done? I see a lot of the Love Dare showing interest and pursuing...certainly NOT detaching.

Can someone weigh in on this? I know there's no "one answer fits all" but I would think that a blend of both teachings might be a fit for some people.

I'm nearly done with reading "The Five Love Languages." Very insightful. I liked it a lot - but I again have questions... How do you implement some of THOSE techniques while DBing? I think my W's love language is "words of affirmation" with "quality time" a close second. I've been working more compliments into my interactions with her, and she does thank me for them (which is somewhat of a 180 for her - as she used to just roll her eyes or brush them off as though they were insincere).

I wish everyone a happy and peaceful 4th of July holiday.