Can it get any worse?

[glamgirl]

Thanks for all for the well wishes and encouragement.

I took the kids to the pool today and saw my next door neighbors. The dad asked where is h? I just smiled and didn't respond. S7 says working. Bless his heart. I am so tired of the embarrassment of answering to where is h. Well I won't have to do that anymore.

Neighbor responds that's not right. He should be here with his kids. Gee could somebody tell him that? Oh I forgot wouldn't do any good anyway. He's checked out and has been for a long time. In his mind he's a good father. He wouldn't know what a good father is.

Neighbor dad was there with his family. Very nice family and nice w. He had his shirt off and I was like wow, neighbor w gets that everynight. That is what I miss the most is not having my h to snuggle with at night.

I am relieved that the crap is finally done. I wanted to text h today and say not to come over on the 4th. He already had plans to join us. I thought I will just let it be since the kids are expecting him for fireworks.

I am so looking forward to moving forward. I talked to my sis today. She says I am welcome to come stay with her for awhile. Now that would involve moving out of state.

In Sept I am going to sell everything that I can. I want to be free to move if I choose.

I do feel relief though. No more wondering and waiting and asking my h to come home. I am looking forward to meeting a nice man to share my future with. I am just hoping I am not too old to attract a man. I wasted some good years. This could have been done 3 years ago, but know I had to try to make this work. How stupid could I be to think my h was going to be one of those men to return.

Oh well, I will try not to waste anymore thoughts on this. It is what it is.