WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Givingitmyall,

Thanks for checking in on my situation. I always appreciate people's perspective on my situation.

I have been working on myself, although the getting a life part has slowed down since I lost my job. I am suppose to go out with my buddies this Sunday though.

I did have a great day with my boys - I usually do. That's one of the upsides of this "forced vacation" that I'm on. Because we had to cut back on camp and day care, I get the boys 4-5 days/nites a week now. That is actually one of the things I may try to negotiate if they make an offer next week. To see if I can delay starting till the start of the school year so I can spend the entire summer with the boys.

Although this has slowed down my getting a life (having the boys so much and also being worried about cash).

I know I can't make her find a reason or even search for a reason to try. It's just that right now, she still seems to initiate alot of contact (i.e. even this morning, asking if I needed anything at the store). So I was thinking how do I take that opportunity to try and establish a "connection".

I've tried the friendly route where I listen and support and empathize (things that I hadn't done when we were together) as that was part of my 180. In the past, I would act as if I didn't have the time to be bothered with her "petty" problems/thoughts.

We still laugh/joke around, even sexually at times.

So is what I'm doing establish a connection or is it just an "artificial harmony of friendship" that is going keep us at arms length......