Those words are powerful and I agree with them. All my DB'ing, which was successful and my C said I was doing extremely well and she was positive this may be a hiccup in our marriage, has completely fallen apart over the past couple of days.
Today more D talk in fact wants to do paperwork over the 4th weekend so he can mail next week. H would like to be out of here mid-August. That involves moving from Minnesota to Montreal, Canada. H has friends there and in his words he just wishes he could get there sooner to have some fun this summer. We are both originally from North Dakota.
He admits my DB'ing techniques are positive and has asked where was that woman before she got put in a position to try and save this marriage. I indicated the DB'ing was primarily for me and if he felt positive vibes that was a bonus. He stated unequivocally "it is too late". Not once would agree to see a counselor with me. He just kept pursuing his own life and now is set to simply run away from everyone, including his family.
I was strong at the end of last week, had consulted an attorney myself and knew whatever happened I would be okay. In fact, I too, am sick of the same back and forth and would like to D myself out of this uncomfortable marriage.
However, yesterday and today I am at my absolute lowest and I am seriously considering going dark but still I am encouraged to hope, I mean once he leaves for another country and by him burning bridges H won't come back. H has crossed the line of looking back and I agree it is too late and too much has happened. The awful part is we work and live together so I have zero space of my own and I fear the next 6 weeks will not be pleasant.
I hope your life is in good spirits and I again thank you for passing along those words, keep doing it.
Michele
M 42 H 41 M 16 yrs Together 20 yrs No Kids Bomb 5/16/09 D papers are in the house, ticking time bomb
