The house is quiet. D9 and D6 are gone camping for the weekend with my sister and won't be home until Sunday. S3 is with DH at his parents' house and DH will bring S3 home tomorrow evening, since DH has duty on Sunday. D17 and friend are drifting in and out, but are more than content to leave me to myself.
So, what have I done with my solitude? I went to bed earlier than usual last night. I slept until after 10, then finished a book I wanted to read for a long time. The overwhelming theme of the book was that through sacrifice and love, we can find our greatest dream. I cried through the last couple of chapters. It was cleansing and encouraged me to open my Bible and read something that was suggested to me a few days ago. While I knew the jist of the chapter, I had never read the whole thing. It was Ezekiel 37, where God tells Ezekiel to prophesy to a field of dead bones and to bring them back to life. My Bible has commentary in it and it talks about Our Living God being able to bring anything back to life. The commentary, near the ens, specifically mentioned bringing back dead marriages.
I felt an overwhelming need to get out of the house today, to try to clear my mind and let some things go. My sister and I swapped cars for the weekend, so instead of my Durango, I had the joy of driving her T-Top Comaro instead. I hit the road and drove around for the better part of four hours. It was a drive to let go off the past. I drove out to the house that DH bought when we were first married. I drove out to the park we took the older girls to all the time when they were little, and I drove past the little town where we spent many happy, special weekends together. I drove to the cemetery my grandparents were interred at last spring--the first time I have been there since the interment. I talked to my grandfather (I miss him horribly) for a long time and also had a long talk with God. At each, I cried and let go some more of the past. As I was driving away from our old home, I heard the song posted above. And so I continue to climb, out of the past and moving on and forward. I will post more about the past few weeks later.
Living God's blessings with grace and dignity~ SMW
M40/H36 T16/M14 4K B2/08 S4/08 current
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. I Corinthians 13:7
