Hey S, sorry I havent been able to call you. There's been a lot of stuff going on. I will call you soon.
The words below that you wrote I could have written almost word for word:
"is it really just that he's all I've known since I was 17 years old and I am scared to death of letting go? My H has said he was "faking it" throughout much of our marriage. I'm now thinking that perhaps underneath I really knew that, so that is why I eventually became so depressed that I didn't want to get out of bed.....ever! H just thought I was lazy and I agreed with him and thought I was worthless, because I didn't know what was wrong with me. I had a great H who was a good provider and did chores around the house, etc. So what if he was judgemental and critical of everything I did? He was so far above me and I was so lucky to have him......or so I thought...... he still thinks that. The young man I loved was largely a figment of my imagination.....and his for that matter. He didn't lie all those years deliberately. He was sincerely trying to do the right thing. I believe that. "
You handled this the way you wanted to and I support you in that, my friend.
All of the wonderful people on here want the best for you and hate to see you hurting.
S, you will be ok. I know that. I hope you now know it, too. The world is your oyster and it is a better place for having you in it.
