Can it get any worse?

[glamgirl]

Well, what can I say. Our situation has made yet another turn. I had a long talk with h yesterday. In light of all the recent developments and the long 3 years I stood waiting for my h to return we have come to the decision to call it quits.

My h let me know that he couldn't ever return home, so where does that leave us? Don't have much choice but to accept the situation for what it is and move forward.

I gave it my best. I waited a long 3 years for my h to figure it out and I guess what he figured out was that his life is best without the m. Not what I wanted for our m and life, but I will be ok.

What's important is that I accept the situation for what it is. My h changed period. Didn't expect such a wonderful person to fall so far from morals and values from what he was raised, but it just goes to show that even the best of people can wreck havoc on their own lives. If my h had more of a moral compass he wouldn't have found himself in the situation he has, but it's also about having respect for oneself. He didn't have respect for himself, so how could one expect him to have respect for others.

My h didn't respect me, the kids, our m, our relationship. It's easy to point a finger and to place blame on my h, but the situation is what it is. All I can do is move on. I would say learn from the situation, but I stood by my h even though he doesn't see it that way and I did the best I could with my h. I couldn't have asked more of myself.

What are my future plans. To take a much needed vacation, clear out the house of anything I no longer want, and continue to workout and be healthy.

In the beginning, I won't immediately be able to be a friend to my h, that will have to come much later. I will need time to heal through all of this.

I am sad it didn't work, but I am glad to finally have closure.

I am strong and I will get through this. Thanks all for helping me and posting to me and getting me through these difficult years.

Someone once posted to me........woulda coulda shoulda.......for some reason that made so much sense to me today.