Quote: Hi GR I haven't posted a reply before as I'm not sure how great advice I would give on this. Have you seen the C yet? How did it go?
Your reply came through just fine, Jiji, and thanks for the follow-up. Our appt is next Wednesday and H said he's actually looking forward to it. I think he's ready to get the 'monkey off his back', so to speak.
I asked him yesterday if he felt uncomfortable or embarrassed when I talked about toys, movies and such. He said no, but that it took him off-guard because he was raised to not expect that from a 'lady.' I said this was true when I was growing up, too, but that between a man and a wife, anything is fair game as long as both enjoy it and are comfortable with it. He is uncomfortable when I do things for him or buy things for him. "No one has ever done that for me before," he told me. I'm happy to say that his comfort level on that score is improving.
This leads me to wonder if somewhere in the past he mentioned things like this to a woman/wife and she told him he was dirty or disgusting, etc.. From things I've picked up from H, his son and my FIL, the first wife was a real B*, and still is. H said this issue goes all the way back to that time '72/'73 and it's only gotten worse.
I do think that all my openness and talk has stuck in his mind, though, because last night he was rarin' to go and it was the best ever.
My goal today is to back off, not seem too eager for a repeat of last night, and don't rock the boat. I think H will need quite some time with a C one-on-one to work past the demons in his mind, but I've no doubt he'll be a much happier man.
He told me that no one has ever wanted to help him or accept him as he is like I do. I told him that's because no one has, or ever will, love him like I do. He smiled and nodded his head.
Wish us luck and the best of luck to you, too. I've been reading your thread.
