That's the sensible/responsible/honorable thing to do. Why get yourself in more trouble even before you can get out of the mess you're in already? While you can't control what the WA does and continues to do, I see many LBH's get into dating and sexual intimacy far too quickly than is good for them or the kids. There seems to be this trend that finding someone else to get involved with is the way to happiness; it seems to be a rush for a while then reality hits - different values, family background, kids, etc.
What's wrong with looking for someone that can "add" to your happiness after months and months of loneliness and rejection? And why a new person means "trouble" fb2? No one needs to go ahead and marry quickly, or assume they found their other half (or whole according to healthy perspectives)...
Sure things need to be "stable and normal" when you enter a new relationship and that is only to make sure you do justice to the other person involved and can give also and not only take, but I dont think life will wait for any of us and no one that I can recall here, expressed their intentions to become monk or stay celibate for ever.
If the people here are not able to have a relationship after a divorce or a R failing, then...DBing is crap. We should be able to have BETTER and "easier", more fullfilling relationships, not give up and hide in our caves.
In everything there must be balance and limit. Including loneliness. I for one, am fed up with this whole "stay alone, celibate and miserable until ..." when exactly, by the way? If anyone feels like going ahead and dating , I say go ahead and date. Kids dont have to know until is time for them to know.
Come on people, we are not dead or sick or with low morals when we crave for someone to love and to be loved by. We are just humans and need affection. Enough with this honorable BS that hide fear and shuttered hearts. Let's call it what it is.
FIB, I can see why you wouldnt have the energy to date now, but that should be the only reason not to at the moment. You are a great man and DESERVE to feel loved and have someone by your side. I know what you mean about focusing on your kids, very well so since my focus on the kids ruled my decisions so far a lot, but being a father shouldnt mean staying alone. Remember what they say: "kids look up to us and we teach them by the way we lead our lives". They need to see us creating happy lives again, especially after a huge blow as a painful divorce. Take it easy and go with the flow. You know better than any of us when you can be an equal part of a relationship, I am sure you will have no problems finding the other part if you want to.
