It does matter aliveandkicking! If he was really in love with someone else, he would drop you like a hot rock! He hasn't done that!
What if as Sandi says, it is just a control issue? He is getting off on having the upper hand. He feels that I was in control in the R and he felt like sh*t about himself and now this is "payback". I'm not mind-reading, I am piecing together his words.
this exact dynamic is very much at play in my sitch. Only my H. "gets to me" by shutting me out and avoiding responsibility with the things we still have in common (though this has gotten better lately). Its really hard to know how to respond...without perpetuating a dynamic that was a problem in the R.
If they are all about control, only way to deal, I think, is to ignore. Let them act out but not pull our strings. Until H. is ready to receive it and act on it, I think confronting him with his behavior is futile. I think he wants to spur you into power struggle. GAL, GAL girl, GAL. I like your plan to try it for a week...come back to questions about why he is doing this after a little hiatus.
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
IMHO, I think not. Sandi gave me some really good advice once, said, if you are not sure what to do, do nothing. You can always email him next week.
hang in there, I know your head is spinning right now.
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
noooo...she does the same thing to me....a little comment here or there and I melt...I forget she's preparing paperwork and plans to move on.
i don't know everything about your sitch but be careful with your heart.
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
