Hola amiga....remember you told me on the phone when we first spoke that I needed to say something like "I am sorry you feel this way"....well I found this on a website confirming what you told me.and here it is along with what I wrote him...he emailed me back... I have no expectations but God heard me when I asked him to let my husband have a response for me and when I opened up the email he had answered me ...as you can imagine my FAITH AND HOPE sky rocketed as is still here with me as I write this to you.....I hope all works out for your family...Irma
The Magic Words I’m sorry you feel that way Though you cannot fix your MLCer, you are not incapable of providing help—by accepting and validating his choices. I’m sorry you feel…
•life is hopeless •you do not love me •I was an awful wife •you deserve better •you are not worthy •this new person is your soul mate •you are never coming home •you hate me… By not validating, your MLCer feels you are not listening or taking him seriously; to dismiss his feelings is to also be dismissive of him—and that is insulting.
I’m sorry you feel that way. I realize you must do what you feel is best and I understand. I must also do what I feel is best.
I’m sorry you feel that way will become your mantra or new catch-phrase. You will eventually feel like a broken record. But it is important. Consider alternative phrases that sound the same. I wish you didn’t feel that way. This gives primary reference to your desires rather than his feelings; it is telling him what you want and in Midlife Crisis while operating on emotions, your desires do not matter to him. MLCers don’t want to feel you’re pushing your desires or agenda.
I’m never coming home. I know, but if you change your mind; I’m here. Validate that you are aware he is not coming back; he doesn’t need the added guilt and pressure of thinking you’re waiting. Telling him you are there is not meant as an implication of you being a lifeless being staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring, but rather that you are an available friend in need. He may not care; or rather he may not think he cares. Right now you might be the last person he wants to call when he needs help, but tomorrow is another day.
after almost 2 months of no contact other than wishing him a happy father day text
Jerry, I'm sorry you feel that you dont love me anymore. I'm sorry you feel you have found your soulmate with someone else, and I'm sorry you feel you are never coming home, but if you change your mind just know that I am here. I realize you must do what you feel is best and I understand, I must also do what I feel is best for me and Becca. And most of all I am sorry that you feel this way. I hope you are doing ok.. Your Wife Irma he emailed me the next day... I dont expect another email but maybe this validating thing is for real
