K4D Rising #2

[25yearsmlc]

how's d7 dealing with the bully at the rec center? Anything fun going on there for her?

j-

[K4D]

D7 appears to be doing fine. I guess they have handled the bully. I made a phone call and it was addressed.

As far as nice things to say about my W. Before all this happened, she was the best mother and W I had ever seen. Hands down I would put her on a pedestool compared to anyone else I knew. She had the biggest heart, most giving heart, cared about everyone and would step in to help anyone out in any situation. She was truly a wonderful person. She was as unselfish as they came. Stupid me didn't realize how wonderful of a W I had been given. She would do anything to make the kids happy and always worried about them. She had such a great outlook on life and loved living life. She is super intelligent and driven and just a ton of fun to be around. She loved to have people over for get togethers. She was an amazing woman. One night she stayed up the entire night helping me with an assignment at work I was having trouble with. She used to surprise me on my birthday by showing up at work unnanounced with pizza and drinks. She would make sure I was the focus. She worked hard to make sure everyone always had a good time. It was very important to her. She read a lot of books. Church was important to her. She would go to the Christian bookstore and look for things for her and the girls and even me. She worked hard to make our house a home. She stood by my side no matter what. She was the most wonderful person I knew and I took it all for granted.

Now she can't stand me. She is totally into herself now even at the kids happiness. She is just a different person now than she used to be. But she was truly amazing. Everyone loved her. It is so hard being without her realizing what I had and not having it now.

The one thing she had was once she had had it with someone, that was it, she was done with them and it was going to take a miracle to fix it. And I mean you had to do a lot to finally cross that line. And I did. I never thought it would happen to me. But it did.

Kevin

[MrBond]

In that case your W didn't change. She's exactly how she told you she was. I think that's your problem right there. You thought she "somehow" changed into this horrible person who cut you out and only thinks of herself. So far, everything you've described is exactly how she is.

I keep going back to that list because she was so clear as to what you had to clean up. But so far I haven't seen you address that at all. I think you may be afraid to confront your insecurities which she spelled out in detail to you.

I would love to have my W write out a list of issues rather than just telling me "i just don't love you anymore."

[25yearsmlc]

Amen...Kev, it's as if you think she got struck by lightning...out of nowhere and you get really vague about how you didn't appreciate her enough or were complacent...etc.

SO anyhow...since NONE of this criticizing her helps YOU or your kids...how about doing something...anything....new and different???
j-

[K4D]

When I say she changed, I mean her values and morals changed. To have an A with someone else that is married and has a family is out of character for her. To try and pull that other family apart which she was trying to do is a change in her values and morals from where she always was before. She pretty much ignored the kids from Sep08 on until we separated. That was a change for her.

I am not critisizing her. I am saying that changes did occur. I witnessed them. She even told me at one point that she has become extremely selfish now. Thats a change from the person who was the most unselfish person I had ever seen.

She went after what she wanted whether it was moral or not. And she went after it hardcore.

She talked about his money and if things didn't work out between him and her then she knows other guys that make as much as he does. She said she can't really be bothered with less money.

She took on a totally different attitude all the way around towards everyone even her kids.

So there were changes from how she used to act. It wasn't just towards me. It was in general.

I still love her and I still hope at some point we reconcile. I pray for it daily. And yes, I have reviewed the list she gave me and need to check off what I have accomplished.

Kevin