I know that really hurt to hear and I'm sorry about it. But given her confusion, why does this change that much? I mean, so what? She says she doesn't love you anymore...blah blah blah...IF MY H asked me last night how much I loved him AND if I were truthful, I'd have said "not at all" b/c sometimes I DON'T!
But I don't blurt it out. I let it pass b/c there are days when I don't feel so loving or he isn't so lovable or maybe it IS me...but I stand in the "doorway" and wait for that storm to pass. It usually does. That's why I HATE it when people here ask their spouses how they feel.
Stop doing that. Let them tell you b/c if it's lasting long enough and is real, then they'll share it. If it's a passing thing or they don't feel good or you just had a fight, don't ask!
Why would you? So I'm all for NO R TALK at all from you. Period. If you meet OW or want to move somewhere then I guess you'd NEED to know right then and there but otherwise, let it go in one ear and out the other until if and when she files. THEN see a L (Or see one now if you would feel more comfortable or if you think she's hiding money or doing something weird)
But otherwise, keep on keeping on. And don't bring up the R or her feelings or her intentions or what she is thinking or doing, etc....please learn to back off for real. I am not so clear on the back rub/hug thing either. Glad it worked I guess, but make sure it does not come off as pressure or pursuit - which I have a feeling it DOES...
I think you have a lot of trouble truly going dark or backing off and it has not helped you. The only relationships you MAY need to discuss with her, are hers with the kids, and how she treats you. But otherwise do as your thread title says and Hand it over to Him, and let Him keep it. Don't take it back...hang in there. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
