I should have moved this to just for fun. It was just an observation that unwittingly the WAS does the things that the LBSes are told to do. It wasn't meant to be an excuse for trapt and mach1 to come attack people some more or as a big take home message. Sorry for posting it.
Walk the walk. Everyone can more easily see what someone else should do than they can see what they should do in their own situation. I was told repeatedly to detach and back off. I didn't do so. I was told repeatedly to do the things I suggest to others now...but I didn't do so. My wife came back when she was good and ready to, and AFTER I was detached and moving on. I have been remarried (to my ex-W) for two years and I think we are doing well. I come here mainly to try to help others. Hopefully that brings you up to date. I don't know Trapt, so don't know how he/she could know so much about me. I don't know what's up with all the obnoxiousness.
Last edited by Phoenixdeux; 07/02/0909:16 PM.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
In light of this fine example a lot of us here seem to be setting....
I for one, would like to apologize for anything I have said to offend any Newcomers who may have stumbled across this thread.
This has been a blatent lack of respect for all of you....
And I humbly aplologize to each of you.....
Puppy and Pheonix have some great advice to give.......
Read and decide for yourselves the advice you seek and apply.....
Please don't let this little skirmish distract you from the business at hand for yourselves...
Not sure what you are talking about. This thread was just a lighthearted observation that is only meant to point out that some counterintuitive things (like letting go when all you want to do is grab on) can work....the WAS isn't attempting to win back the LBS, but whatever they are doing is certainly working to make the LBS pursue like crazy. The only thing offensive is the attack mode that continued from some other thread that has nothing to do with this one.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
If you don't believe in Dbing and call it dishonest then what's going on here??
Total, complete, and transparent honesty would not be putting on a happy, brave face. It wouldn't be saying, "I was busy" when you didn't answer the phone. It wouldn't be creating mystery by not telling your spouse exactly what you were doing. Isn't this what is suggested. Isn't it dishonest? Aren't quite a few of the suggestions in the book simply different methods of manipulation of your spouse (such as be gone when you spouse comes home, without explanation, to influence him to stop going out with his buddies all the time)? There are multiple manipulative examples in the book....isn't that dishonest? The honest way is when the bomb is dropped to declare your undying love and continue to do that because that's what you are honestly feeling...I just don't think that's what works, and the book would say the same.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
I think what is going on here is that we need to remember that different people have different methods and personalities. What works for one may or may not work for another. What one feels is exactly the "right" choice, another may think is totally appalling.
I'm thinking we are all here for help and support, and if something is hurtful vs. helpful, then it is a waste of time and space. Open mindedness and empathy for others are wonderful qualities. Blanket judgements about others or their situations can be hurtful and dangerous. No one truly knows about another's life or character unless they have walked that person's path in life. Snap judgements are never a good thing. Personal attacks vs. a healthy debate are never a good thing. We need to remember we are all real people here, even though it is through a computer screen. Peace guys!!
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I don't know Trapt, so don't know how he/she could know so much about me. I don't know what's up with all the obnoxiousness.
It's not obnoxiousness.
You flat out told the whole board that you didn't DB and that it's dishonest. What more do I need to learn or know about you. I think you told us all we needed to hear.
I've got nothing against YOU personally, just your words.
No worries my man, you won't find me wasting my time anymore. In fact too much of it has already been wasted.
