Summer 2009

[BeingMe]

Isn't now the time to get social services visiting their house? Leaving a 17 yr old to deal with a generic with altzheimers seems rather irresponsible to me. But, it seems, crazy people like Dick and Jane just seem to get away with stuff all the time, but there will a come a time when that will stop. One just has to keep hammering away at the wall.

Hope you have a good weekend, despite all this drama.

[Between Tears]

BeingMe,

I thought of this too, made a call, but no one showed up.

Thankfully, both children are fine, so is Grandpa. The house survived the parties, everyone is safe, no one had any troubles so all in all, things are well.

Dick and Jane are on their way back to Cali, with three of her children from Kansas. My kids are not looking forward to their return, nor the house being so full, and sharing their space where they've been finding some peace. Things will become more hectic, S will find himself babysitting Janes youngest daughter, along with Grandpa, so he will be more stressed. D will be grateful she found work to keep her out of the house...

Jane was served papers for child support while she was here... this of course made both she and Dick happy! So, I figure, since it all runs down hill, Dick will be extra aggressive come July 22, for our next hearing. It seems when the Fathers of Janes children go after her, Dick takes their revenge out on me.

It will all come out in the wash someday.... just wish the laundry was done already!

[BeingMe]

Maybe you should get together with Jane's exH and see how he is managing to get custody, etc. Different state, I guess?

As for call social care --- at least, you tried. If something had gone wrong (and, thank goodness, it didn't) it would've been on record.

Keep well.

[Between Tears]

BeingMe,

Jane's ex's are all in this state, they were all divorced in the same county, however, I live in a different county hours away. I once tried to hire the same lawyer they have, but he wanted $5000 up front, which I still can't afford to this day.

Dick, his Attorney and the Judge all attended the same High School together, have a prior history and in anywhere else besides podunk KS, this would have been enough for a change of venue.... but since this is so small town, people have grown accustomed to this type of politics, and it's accepted as a way of life.

People here don't like Yankees, and yes, I've heard this term actually still used, been called it so often, that I've retorted, "Hey, if you traveled to Europe, you'd find we all are considered damned yankees!" Of course this hasn't won me any friends, but it certainly gets my point across.

When we initially moved here, I felt like I had stepped back into the 1950s... people here were so different, the girls still wore ribbons in their hair even in high school, the boys wore their pants over their butts, with belts, we learned we could leave our keys in the car, and our doors and windows unlocked to our home. We had a farm, and it seemed like a great place to raise children.

Prior to the divorce, I had a few (very) minor traffic violations, lived a rather obvious boring life for hadn't seen the inside of a courtroom before the divorce began. I had no idea how far Dick would go, how much he'd lie to protect his fragile ego, or prevent him from taking any responsibility for what had happened. To this day, it's still my fault he had to have his affair(s). It's still all my fault, everything.... well, if you were to ask him anyway.

The other stupid thing I did, was to expect everyone else to be able to see through Dick's lies, realize how silly most of his justifications were, to be able to see what truly transpired because Dick and his reasonings were so childlike. I didn't know that a high priced attorney could or would make snowball freeze in hell.

Ahh, well, it's all been a learning experience for me, so to say the least. Unfortunately, my children have suffered because of it. Although, seeing things through their eyes, I've been able to deduce that no one really makes it through childhood unscathed, yet, there is a reason, and that is so we can acquire the necessary (emotional) tools to survive life and learned to handle most anything that comes our way.

I've become a better person, a better parent, have learned to listen better because of all that has gone on. This is something I am grateful for, and will hold on to for the rest of my life.

[Between Tears]

I quit!

Today, I tried to get ready for this long awaited Drs appointment, and wouldn't you know it, no water. No water, no shower, no Drs appointment.

I quit.... I can't go fighting for any step forward. I quit.

[BeingMe]

I hope you went to the doctor without showering. Good grief! I am sure he/she has seen a lot worse. You must take care of your health. Life really sucks without it ----- I know, 'cause I have been fighting a f*&^%$ing brain tumour since last year, and it ain't fun. You have been one of those people online that really inspire me at how strong you are dealing with life.

Take care and I know you won't quit, and that you were just blowing off steam.

[Between Tears]

BeingMe,

I didn't realize you had a brain tumor, how difficult it must be for you. How are you doing? How much longer do you have treatments?

As a matter of fact, I did not go. No sense in it anyway. I was told that even if I prove Dick's lies, prove that he IS unfit as a parent, they will take the children and put them in foster care. My only way of beating this system is to move to Cali, have a change of venue, and take dick to court there.

No sense in starting something here, when I won't be able to continue the regimen. I won't have insurance, I won't have any money, so there is no sense in wasting someone else's time.

Time to bite the bullet and move on.

[BeingMe]

Well, I'm not really here for sympathy or anything, but the tumour does play a part in the dynamic of my M. In the meantime, I am in the process of going through chemo, but at home, with capsules. Thank goodness. I just wanted to let you know how much strength and hope I get from others who are struggling.

It does sound like a good idea to move to California. If your kids are there, then you may as well be too. How are they doing now with the other kids there?

[Between Tears]

Well heck ya, your tumor would play a part in the dynamics of your M.... a big one! Treatments have come a long way, and it's good your able to be at home during yours. It's far less stressfull.

As for my kids, ahh, does red headed step child bring an image? Jane treats my children, especially S as if they should cowtow to her children, and take care of their every need. Jane buys for her kids while allowing my two to watch.

So, now S has to not only watch Grandpa, he has to be the taxi, chef, and attendant for Jane's youngest two, Her D, can drive herself, but she won't lift a finger to help. My D is working 4 and sometimes 5 days a week now, and doesn't think she needs to help around the house as much as she could. (My) D has gone numb, she has broken off her relationship with her boyfriend of over a year, as she also finds it difficult to talk to me, for she says it makes her terribly homesick, as she has a feeling she isn't coming home after the summer.

That's it in a nut shell.... Just wish I could change things. Heard from another woman with children, who happens to have the same set up I have, same Judge, same opposing counsel, she has no child support, hasn't received anything that was written for her in her divorce decree, and she too is about to loose residential custody of her children, after being a stay at home mom before the divorce. Her ex (divorce final three years ago) has all the money and all the control.

So, it's not just me, and we (this lady and I) feel this Judge is anti woman, anti children, and should be held responsible for the child abuse he administers.

Pissy? Yes, I am! But I'm trying to make it a better day.

Take care of you....

[Between Tears]

Last night I received a text from S. Dick announced to both children that they are going to remain with him until they turn 18. He didn't want them to return here, even to live with someone else, because they needed to be with a parent, and since I'm unfit as a parent, it only left him.

S told me he was going to disappear when it came time to drive back to california, after the hearing on July 22. He's not going back, he says he has had enough of Dick.

D, who I talked to today, confirmed Dick statements, and says that she wants to live here, no matter what. She didn't say anything negative about her Father, just said she wants to be here.

The arrogant SOB, he knows if I prove who the unfit parent truly is, the children could or would be pulled from his house and placed in Foster care, which is something I'm not willing to try. So he believes he's won.

The one thing I know, Dick can't afford his own life right now. Has to work overtime in order to make ends meet. The man makes well over $120,000/yr and can't afford to pay his son $40 for taking care of his Grandfather this week. He was just paid on or around the 20th... hasn't paid child support in over 6 months, and when he did pay, he paid (sometimes) %500, which if he gets his way, is probably close to the amount I will have to pay making $20,000/yr.

Of course I'm making plans to go to California. It's going to be rough... I'm looking for work now. Finding a job and a place to live is going to be tough... but nothing has been easy for the past 7 years. Back when this started, I had once hoped my life would have become normal by now....