When you were single once upon a time, did you need help "managing the effects" of your behavior. The more you look at him to see how he responds to your behavior, the less detached you are. Instead, do what you want to do for yourself, to make you feel better about the person you want to be, and don't consider what he does (at least for now). He's in la-la land anyway, so you might not get any meaningful info from looking at him anyway. Detach from his drama. He's not your problem.
I have to deal with him. His stuff is still in our house. His office is here. I am financially dependent on him. We have major debt and may need to file bankruptcy. We have the kids together...and as I'v expressed, H gets very provocative when I pull away.
Plus, I'm the one that wants our family together and I'm going to have to make this a real separation. And, do we spend family time??
Maybe I should file a legal sep and get my own place.
I can guarantee, he will reflect on this as me having pushed him away. Unbelievable. But, I get it, he can think whatever he wants.
At this point, I just want to be told what to do. Everyone IRL tells me to file and separate completely now.
But, then I get the DB guilt going and I feel like I'm not being true to what I want...I know we all go through this.
