That's about all I would say. And perhaps, I love you and I'm here for you no matter what.
They do not need to know your heart is breaking nor that they are about to "go through" something horrible.
Don't you know that they will see and feel your energy and know the gravity of what is happening? Don't compound it or project. Be strong enough to watch them take in the information and be there for them.
This is not about you making sure they know it is not your fault or that you "get it." In reality, you don't know how they are going to process this. Let them show you and share with you.
Better. Stick with "I love your mother; this is not what I want; this is not your fault; do you have questions" and that should be ok. Eye contact with those babies, though! They'll be gathering information not just from what you say - or don't say - but from what's in your eyes. Exhibit strength and honor.
Me45 H46 T25 M22 S21 & 19 D13 Separated and filed 8/08 Moved home 11/08
The talk to the kids is so difficult. I wrote up all the questions I could imagine the kids asking and we reviewed them. He said, "I want a divorce, your mom doesn't agree with me. Both of us are responsible for where we are now. How we feel about you will never change."
Let this be her ball of wax. Let her field the questions the kids will have. I fell apart with their tears and rushed in saying anything and everything to try and stop their pain. My mistake. He didn't have to face the music.. though I doubt it would have phased him.
I kinda like leaving it all up to her like Greek did, If it is not your decision, I would not say a word, but would answer any questions that they had very honestly, I would also warn her that I would correct her if I heard anything that I perceive untruthful.
I agree with the great feedback you've been getting so far...less is more...and remember that though the day you tell them will be painful - you will only have to tell them once - (well, she will have to tell them...your silence will speak volumes to your children) -- after that day, you can show them all they need to know about what you value by giving them the best examples through your actions...though the occasional, calm conversation with one's children can do wonders for one's sense of hope...
We LBS's have to be the strong ones for the little ones. I say this as I stare at a real estate listing agreement my W has left out again - for me to see no doubt.
I know its hard. Be strong. I am praying for you and your little ones. God, that tears me up.
