Why not?

[traveldane]

I know it messes with your focus...but, depending on what you want, it at least leaves the door open, ya know?

Well, yes, that is what titillates me BUT, isn't it more likely that he is just a narcissist who can't handle the idea of me moving on, even though he is doing just that?

I don't know.

very possible. So again, back to you.

If you are done, at least for now, which is kinda what detaching is...someone correct me if I am jacking this all up...then his annoying "look at me, pay attention to me" texts are just that. Annoying. You've got to get into that zen place, DESPITE, what he does.

Regarding the urgent texts re: kids...obviously, those will have to be responded to. If it becomes a pattern of false alarms and cry wolfs, you will have to address it with dry frankness. But obviously, he will always have you on that one and I don't envy that dynamic. But, reality I guess.

And, regarding a more long term view, if you even want to entertain it, perhaps you gut is equally as wise as your head is on the short term....i.e., he does care, is not done. His capacity to care in a loving, mature way is clearly suspect right now. Might always be. Time will tell-and while I groan at this trite saying too, we both know it is true.

Really really not trying to convince you that his way is not all the things that upset and concern you, just wanted to throw in the small positive that regardless of where it comes from, he clearly has not become indifferent to you. Am I projecting my own wants for my sitch onto yours? Maybe, and I appologize if that is what is comes off as. But, we DB diciples (sarcastic) are taught to look for the positives, the very small things even...so I thought I might point out a possibility, or at least reframe his behavior as such.