How do I exorcise this feeling that something has/is being taken from me and my children?
I can amp myself up, get the PMA, focus on other things. But, at the end of the day, I feel really screwed over.
Hey there.
I think we're much better off when the aim and focus is on ourselves...at least then the aim and focus is on something that we have control over.
I agree, as I think we are all pretty much dealing with the same feelings too!
It's not just just a feeling aliveandkicking...it's a fact! Something has/is being taken from you and your children...for right now anyway! It's a big loss, that's for sure! But, it might not last! Anyway, it hurts, and it's disappointing.
You do get screwed over when this kind of stuff happens to you. It's bad...that's a certainty! But, we can not only survive...we can get through it! And we can resolve to being better people, better parents, and better partners.
Living well is the best revenge!
And I don't mean revenge directed towards our spouses either...I mean revenge, so to speak, directed towards the bad things that have happened to us! Kind of like 'when life gives you lemons...make lemonade!' You getting amped up, and having a PMA, and focusing on other things...will definately help you and your kids! So keep it up! Even though, your feelings at the end of the day are true and correct. Remember...persistence and determination!
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.
I am so ready to get on a plane and see Michele. I don't know how I'll pay for it but I'm losing my mind.
Why does H text me constantly (today was my day to get away without kiddos), so provocative...why does he want my attention even though he is insistent that we are through? THis stuff is not cute, sexual innuendo, telling me I need to call him asap (scaring the sh*t out of me) for a non-emergency. I'm tired.
Ok - here is the deal.... I gather you live in L.A. or somewhere in Southern California.
As soon as my hot mess of a divorce is over I am coming to L.A. to visit some friends and do some scouting (I have some job opportunities there). You and I are going to go out and eat, have wine, get mani's and pedi's and laugh. And we will have fun if it kills us. We are going to dress to the nines and look and FEEL so fabulous it wont even be funny. Good? Are you in?
Enough is enough - we need our girlfriends to help us through. And after we go out and have more fun than we can stand we are going to eat ice cream and make fun of our H's until we laugh ourselves silly.
"I can amp myself up, get the PMA, focus on other things. But, at the end of the day, I feel really screwed over".- @aliveandkicking
This is exactally what I struggle with. Accepting the loss, for what it is right now, is all necessary and part of the process and all, but it still sucks. It has turned this here life uspside down...growth is growth but its painfull. I'm GALing best I can, but really, I'm tired. I'll do the work, learn the lessons, but really, I just want to go home (literally and figuratively speaking).
Maybe you and CG could bring me along in spirit for your rendezvous. This week has felt a bit like an emotional meat grinder-sorry, thats a bit dramatic. But still.
Maybe Michele could do a retreat weekend and give us all a sympathy discount. I'm sure it would make great research for her next book.
Cheers
Last edited by traveldane; 07/02/0904:59 PM.
Me 30 H 33 together:10 years married:5 years Separated: 1/23/09 living apart 5 mos and counting "when you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on"-FDR
My problem is that he doesn't leave me alone. He flirts, he texts, he's provocative.
My gut tells me that means it is not "over" for him. MY mind tells me it may never be over for him even if we are divorced and living with other people...it is a real mindf*ck.
I'm thinking we may need to go in and see someone to set some boundaries and get clearer about what we both want.
Read about what the kids are going through in these sitches. It is so hard to have to push him away when he's the one who said he wanted this!?* He doesn't even have the grace or b*lls to leave me alone...
My problem is that he doesn't leave me alone. He flirts, he texts, he's provocative.
My gut tells me that means it is not "over" for him. MY mind tells me it may never be over for him even if we are divorced and living with other people...it is a real mindf*ck.
I'm thinking we may need to go in and see someone to set some boundaries and get clearer about what we both want.
Read about what the kids are going through in these sitches. It is so hard to have to push him away when he's the one who said he wanted this!?* He doesn't even have the grace or b*lls to leave me alone...
Or, am I missing something?
You are letting him do all those things to you. What's missing? hhmmmmmm?
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
