For me it was the dishes, and making the bed. She will not let me touch the laundry, I mess it up way too much. I did it because it was something that I never did and it was a 180 for me, and because it was the right thing to do, I continue to do it. I do these things for me, my chidlren and my wife, not just to get a positive reaction from her. The positive reaction (this may take time) is just a byproduct.
Now, my wife was afraid that my actions would not last if she started to work on the marriage so really you cannot fake it, it has to be a practice that is lifelong and a personal growth for yourself. Excercise for me is the same way. Never did it, now I workout about 3 times a week and really find it very satisfying for myself. The byproduct is that my wife thinks I look good. This boosts my self esteem, it all is this wonderful circle when you do the right things for yourself, and your family.
