Separated for 3 weeks now

[Ready2Change]

Every interaction I have with MsR2C is a opportunity for her to see my changes. I was shopping for new clothing frequently after the bomb. My wardrobe is completely new. My tone on the phone is always upbeat and positive. I wish her well in text messages and emails. (of course I am like this with all my other interactions with other people).

Fake it till you make it.

[Ready2Change]

Are you happy?

I am happy when I do not dwell on the past or fear the future. If I am "IN THE MOMENT RIGHT NOW", I am happy. Lunch was great. I walked and enjoyed every thing I saw, smelled, ate, ect.....

[P Cater]

So my wife is going away for a couples of days to be with OP and I am having doubts that she won't give me a chance to change. How long do affairs last? Should I just not worry about it or give up on reconciling our marriage? Any advice would be welcome.

[volleydog]

You've gotten a ton of good advice you need to put it to use...ALL your focus is on your W it needs to be on you, period.

[Ready2Change]

You have no control over your wife. Have faith that she will give you a chance when she sees your changes. Affairs all last different lengths of time. The best thing you can do is make your changes and pray she has a change of heart. I would not worry about it. After you have made many positive changes, she will let you know if she is ready to reconcile.

The movie "Fireproof" shows how the man made the needed changes and draws his wife back. You might want to go buy the movie and watch it.

[P Cater]

What positive changes can I make? I am just really confused about the situation.

[P Cater]

I have not talked to my wife for two weeks now. Is this a good sign for me that I am giving her space?

[P Cater]

If your spouse is in an EA is it easy to forgive them?

[25yearsmlc]

How long have you been married? Do you have kids? (I have only found this one thread for you so I don't see that info anywhere.) Why'd she say she wanted out? What are HER issues and what does she SAY are YOURS?

What changes does she want you to make? Also I highly recommend you re-read the section in the book about detachment and I believe there is a site HERE somewhere on what detachment is (check out faithfulH's thread for that site or link if you can't find it, b/c it's good to read every day when you need it).

See if that helps you stop staring and hovering around her b/c she's probably suffocating...and don't ask about OM please not at this time. Unless you want a divorce based on an affair and KNOW this for a certainty, why ask right now? Back off. Focus on you and something, anything that has nothing to do with her, and DO IT....
What are the 180's you are doing? How are you GAL? (getting a life, what NEW things are you doing to help you direct your life?)

Check out the parts on Detachment and answer those questions I just posted to you again...they are simple but tell us a lot.

j-

[P Cater]

I believe my wife spent a few evenings with her EA/PA partner. I have come to the realization that I need to do the Last of the last of the last resort techniques which means no contact whatsoever. Will this work?