Newbie - first post and ?s

[Gardener]

Gardener - I'm just an emotional wreck right now. H was yelling at me, telling me I was wrong, and how pissed he was. There's only so much I can take. I am trying to be supportive to H because of BIL but I am barely holding it together.

I'm sorry, Ash. You have to turn around and walk away whenever he yells. A few nights ago you mentioned locking yourself in another room during one of his tirades. Do that. Bring a radio/iPod, whatever with headphones.

You mentioned being supportive because his brother passed away. How are you doing that? By subjecting yourself to abuse? With your sitch and his behavior I question whether it's even possible to support him in any way. Let him feel his pain and grief. Don't be the brunt of it. Leave as soon as it starts and calmly tell him why (or not; that's your call). Do it. You don't just set boundaries, you do boundaries.

Hang in there. Hanging in there is easy when it's easy and hard when it's hard.
Right now it's still hard. Do it anyway. Doit in spit of...

Hugs to you and S.