Thanks for your post. Seeing your location is Canada, I could not help but wonder what all the wonderfulness is about being my H wants to move there and become a citizen...H explains that Canadians do not seem so hung up on marriage, are able to relax and enjoy their time more and overall have a better quality of life. H claims there are many beautiful women in Montreal. Anyway, just ribbing you a bit...
I think it is time to use LRT, but not sure how best to employ this tactic, any ideas? I've tried as you suggested the sexy going out, stepping out of my comfort zone in many ways and H was quite happy but everything led to the same statement "it's too late, you cannot change, etc."
Your right when H leaves for Montreal there is not much hope because H is going to burn his bridges with friends and family if he chooses to leave all responsibility behind and take off, eh! So, all my DB'ing has probably just been delaying the inevitable in my best estimation but I know it will make it much more difficult for H to walk out the door. I can tell H has stepped up his delusional thinking and is rationalizing everything that he is making plans to go and he must go through with it, he would not want to disappoint his new friends. And, the new friends have now saved a unit in their co-op building for August.
His sister knows the story and she will be left with taking care of their mother. My H is very bitter about his mother and feels she doesn't care about him, etc. Telling the sister only came about again as she and her mother noticed his physical self and his withdrawn look, and concerns of severe depression. Of course, H acts like a mope when he is around them so in one way it looks as though he is almost looking for sympathy and concern, but when they have told them they are, he doesn't believe they care.
At this point, I understand our M may fail but I do feel that I should point out to H that he should not blow it with his family because they want to be there for him and they always have been. Not a terrifically great relationship but H has never suffered more than annoyance.
The stress is really ratcheting up and I am back to the bitter, angry stage and trying to put my best face forward is something I've done with limited ability over the past couple of days. How did you or others suck it up when it appears the end is coming for real this time?
Thanks, Michele
M 42 H 41 Married 16 yrs. Together 20 yrs. No kids, 1 cat Bomb dropped 5/16/09 and now seriously talking D
