Stepping out and Stepping UP!

[cagzmom]

Hi ladies...

We are really at the same place aren't we. How wierd. (in a good way)

Yesterday those words "i settled" resenated in my ears and my thoughts. HE SETTLED??!! I agree with you both -- that it is their way of justification. I guess where my hurt/anger comes in is the HUMILIATION. It is like I want to interject and tell the other people that he has told this too about WHO he WAS in my marriage and let them no about the GOOD we shared.. the things HE planned the LOVE he SHOWED... and then again I know it would do NO GOOD.

When he was with bimbo bitch - the beginning of his summer of freedom I got the "opportunity" to talk wiht her. IN my conversation I said to her things about OUR family experiences.. like for instance.. We had a boat.. that we bought as a family.. It was TOTALLY a FAMILY doing. I said to her.. Bimbo when you are on my boat... did you ever ask him about it? did he tell you about the story BEHIND the boat.. how we got it.. where we were.. all the stuff that went with OUR family? Of course she said no....

Right now I am angry and humiliated. If he dispises me so why doesn't he just stay in teh car when he comes to pick up d12. Why does he talk -- why doesn't he MOVE THE F away??!! If I was such a pain - such a piece of S** why did he stay for 20 years?!! If he DIDNT want to be in teh marriage why did he get married in teh first place?!!

I am probably more reved up because of the holiday. But right now -- I want to not want to know him anymore!