Here's a thought: maybe he's not as much a friend to your H as your H may think he is -- and this person is really interested in following you for his own sake.
Hmm, I don't think I've met him (his picture was on fb), but maybe I did and don't remember. Of course if he knew me and how great I am, then of course you might be right.
? I have. I email H right away with any appointments for the kids, medical, dental, etc. And any functions like the play last week and an art exhibit D9 has this week. I am setting up S15 for some autism mentor & social groups (sounds like once a month) which starts in 2 weeks. Do I or should I email H this info that I'm having S15 participate in that? I mean it's funny b/c he takes the kids on out-of-town trips with OW and doesn't let me know, but I still want to try to do the right thing.... Karen
I think keeping informed bodes well for you. it makes you feel better about co-parenting but also it is a record that you can show as documentation as to the type of schedule your kids have with appointments and therapies.
This all going to turn out right. The bad guys don't always win. It may look like it for a while but Karma comes and finds them.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I vote with Kat. You are a bigger person than he is. You know that already. I say tell him about anything concerning the kids, but when you meet Mr. Hottie, that's different story, your life is your life!
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
So what happens next? Is mediation over after one "attempt" or do you now have a hearing? Well if nothing else by him going to the group too he may get a better understanding of his own kids.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Yep, that would be great! I think they're just going to set it for final hearing. I would think might as well b/c a judge may give me what H is asking for, but certainly not worse. There's no point in mediating if the other person just wants everything their way and no compromising.
So H was supposed to drop off S15 at his therapy this am (they spent the night there) and instead when I got there at 8:30 to pick him up H met with her instead. By the time she finished meeting with him, she wound up having about 10 minutes with S15, and she's out of town next week. This is the 2nd time H has taken their therapy times, and I feel like emailing him and asking him to set up his own appts. rather than taking the kids times. But I'd break nc so don't know.
The therapist told me he spent almost an hour expressing his concerns about my homeschooling and parenting. She was expressing that to me and I said I think his real concern is his wallet. He never had any concerns for the past 10 years of hsing until he fell in love with OW and wanted a divorce. I did 95% of the parenting the past 15 years, and now all of a sudden he cares this month. Whatever. I told the therapist I think he's a snake, and 2 more that would be censored if I repeated them here. She said her usual therapist stuff, yes, D can be difficult, and I said but it doesn't have to be. You don't have to send 5 nasty emails when D9 forgets her glasses and other stuff like that. I try hard to take the high road & do the right thing, but I lost that today... Karen
There's no point in mediating if the other person just wants everything their way and no compromising.
Bingo! That's why last week's mediation was for me such a waste. I had no real room left to maneuver without abrogating my ability to parent our children, so unless xW was able to somehow regain some sanity and back away somewhat from her extreme demands, then no compromise was going to be possible.
Yep, mediation only works if you have 2 that are willing to compromise. And I think it would help if you had a mediator that proposed compromises also. But at least I'm one step closer to the finish line.
I invited H to D9's art exhibit today. They exhibited at the local art museum the best work of the kids that went to art camp this summer. D9 had several of her artworks on the wall; I was very proud.
S15 went with me also (he didn't want to see her play last week or the art today, but I said pick one, so you can show your sister some support.) I had invited H a week ago (when I got the invite in the mail) and then D9 invited him yesterday by email also. He never emailed back and never showed today. D9 seemed ok; I think she mentioned her dad didn't show maybe once. I know he didn't have to work (his office was closed today) so guess he had better plans (in his mind anyway).
I find it hard to believe he wants primary custody of the kids when it's so obvious if he has plans with OW, the kids come 2nd. But you never know I guess. I don't think the legal system is foolproof from what I've seen so far.
For fun today, I colored my hair again, and I'm back to my natural color and maybe a tiny bit darker--now light brown. It's cool-just a fun 180 maybe. I had gone 2 or 3 shades lighter blonde after the bomb, and it's my expression that I'm coming back to myself. Karen
Karen