d-day coming soon - help !

[misshim]

H dropped off our d4 last night. He was dressed up to go out I'm sure. He was talkative, but about D-4 and dinner. Now this is where I get confused. Should I be talkative to him? or just short and sweet??

We meet out in the driveway and it seems when I'm not very talkative he just turns and leaves. He'll say bye to D4 but not to me.

My old feelings keep coming up when I see him. I want to ignore all the things he said to me, especially last friday and maybe we can try to get back when it was nicer.

Then I remember what he said, just because he was hanging with us that didn't mean he was changing his mind on the divorce. He prayed with our D at bedtime and tucked her in just to help ME out. OMG !!! the flippin nerve.

I really think he went back to square 1 again. I'm sure in my foolishness I helped to push him back there. Why can't I just learn to detach from him?? Even though he's being a jerk, I still love him. WHY is that ????

Time will tell. I keep trying to tell myself to just let him go. He's hurtful and selfish. To me and my D4 with his words.

I was angry at him last weekend. H's weekend and I gave D4 a bath on saturday am before he picked her up. Then he will bring her home sunday at 6pm. I looked for her "dirty" clothes. None, he never washed up her "bottom" or didn't even change her underwear. It was warm outside and I know she was sweating. Our D4 has a little issue with her female parts, she needs to be kept clean & vaseline put on at night. Her crotch was bright red come sunday night when she got home. She was dirty because they went to a couple of graduation parties on saturday and sunday.

I'm venting but she needed to get washed up before bedtime. I know they got home late(i'm sure) but he still needs to wash her up alittle at least. No brushing her teeth, and no prayers. Oh i was ticked. Then to find out he never even put her to bed, his mother did because he wanted to go to another party (adult - d4 couldn't go) I told him that it's pretty sad that this was only the 3rd time she has stayed with your parents and you couldn't stay there until she fell asleep? He has her every other weekend but just because this B-day(adult) party fell on his weekend he had to go. Plus he knows how we have to clean her up for bed. His mother has never put our D4 to bed in the first place.

I know this isn't productive for anything, but I was ticked off and I told him, do this for our D4 not for me. I'm sure my d4 was very tired from running around outside in the heat all day. Still she needs to get teeth brushed, and washed up. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and said, ok I understand she was tired but then why couldn't you have cleaned up her "bottom" in the am? and brushed teeth also?

This is the stuff that will just eat me up. He can screw me over but DO NOT do it to our D4. My Lawyer told me on monday that don't let it bother me. He didn't hurt our D4 by not doing those things. I told her she was correct but it needs to be done.

Am I just being a B****???

Someone let me have it if deserved