Well his actions are saying he doesn't want to be anywhere around me. He stayed downstairs again all night and slept down there for the third night in a row. It could be that he's mad about my conversaion with her (especially since he thinks I looked at the phone records), he's mad or whatever that I caught him on his "accidental" phone call to her, or that that just cemented things and he really is done.
I guess we'll just take it day by day since he's not communicating with me.
I left the house again today before he came upstairs. Woke up about 2 am this morning feeling panicked but was able to calm myself down. Went into a cleaning frenzy in our bathroom this morning I guess I just needed to work some of this anxious energy out.
I'll go home early this afternoon and pick up my son and hit the road. My H has yet to deposit a paycheck from last week so there I may have to text him at some point next week so I can pay bills if I don't see a deposit. Same old cash flow problem with his business!
When I get back from vacation I'm going to insist that we meet at his business so I can learn exactly what's what. Even throughout these last couple of months he's told me that he wants me to care about the business more. And quite frankly, he's right. I need to know exactly what's going on - especially financially because it impacts me.
You know he's really isolating himself. He and his best friend don't talk much anymore (the H of the woman) and he really doesn't have a lot of other friends. So sad that his uncle(retired minister) passed away because he would have been an excellent help to him through all this. But I think my H might just be one of those people that can just fine by themselves. Don't get me wrong - I'm not feeling sorry for him. He's brought this on all by himself by the choices he's making.
Good advice Puppy. The last incident just happened on Monday. He may not be sure about how to respond to me either. I think this is the first time that I have totally and completely backed off in terms of initiating any type of conversation. I'm polite when spoken to, fix dinner and take care whatever else needs to be taken care of but I'm not initiating any type of conversation with him either.
You know he's really isolating himself. He and his best friend don't talk much anymore (the H of the woman) and he really doesn't have a lot of other friends. So sad that his uncle(retired minister) passed away because he would have been an excellent help to him through all this. But I think my H might just be one of those people that can just fine by themselves. Don't get me wrong - I'm not feeling sorry for him. He's brought this on all by himself by the choices he's making.
This is my H too... the only family member he talks to (his brother) is shocked that he moved out. He has some coworkers and bitter divorced friends that he's getting his advice from right now. He really has nobody... Too bad, so sad!
Me - 30, H - 32 T - 10, M - 6, D - 1 DD#1 - 4, DD#2 - 2 on/off OW 4/09 - sometime Summer 2010 (Told me about OW 4/10) Separated 6/11/09, divorced 8/4/10, trying again 9/2011
How much time before considering it a pattern Puppy Dog? I am struggling with this at the moment too.
Happy Bday to your wife by the way.
I only have a moment, but I would suggest looking at 4-6 week periods, and whether they are better or worse than the prior 4-6 week period. And by "better" I DON'T mean "he's not angry with me!" nor "He said he's going to file for divorce!" -- just ACTIONS.
Wayward spouses generally LIE. Only when their words align with the actions, over time, will you know they are telling the truth.
I am seeing 2-3 weeks positive actions such as increased acts service, more time at home, increase hugs, but no change in verbal situation apart from much better manners.
