Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

You know I thought about this on the way home last night and just wanted to itterate that I don't have all the loopholes in place with the assuption that she'll be a poor mother. I gave her custody for now as it was better for the boys in quite a few ways and with the benefit of the doubt that she'd do the right thing for the sake of their well-being. So far it's 6 of one, 1/2 dozen of the other in that regard, so we shall see.

Other than that, really, really dizzy this morning. No question it's stress. Got 2 calls from the attorney's office now threatening to sue me for a payment arrangement I just can't afford right now. They have my financial disclosure statement and they know I am now down 45% of my income between child support and tax increases.

Whatever, I've come to conclusion that if a 2nd job does not happen within the next week I'm just going to go back and try the Navy again. Last time I tried I got rejected as we had just found that we were pregnant with S11 and the cost to have them on base would consume the bulk of my salary. So, now that I don't have that problem and life is going to be a financial hell for the next 7 years anyway, and have barely anything in possesions to store, it kind of makes sense. We'll see.

Anyway, on my way home last night, saw XW mowing the lawn, huh everytime I mention yard work at my place, S11 is eager to get his hands on the mower, why wasn't he doing it there? Wanted to ask, but didin't bother. When I was almost home, I got a voice mail from S12 doing XW's dirty work again, hesitatnly asking what time I was coming to get him tonight.

Given the anniversay of events discribed yesterday, I was not in a very talkative mood and jsut texted asking XW if it was ok that I pick them up at 6 tonight. Xw replied that it fine, but then asked if I could "drop them off at dad's at 6 on Sunday so that 'we' (her & OM) can take to fireworks on Sunday". All I replied was 'fine'.

ugh, I just want a vacation from life right now.