San,

I have been here in your situation with my own W. The sad fact is that people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

Quote:
I dont feel he goes out of his way to reassure me he is not thinking of her or contact with her is over... his phone is never anywhere in sight..


No contact is an absolute requirement. You simply cannot have a marriage without it. There have been times when OM hasn't been in touch with my W for months but W herself has kept the fantasy of the affair alive.

You must have this. Any "working on the marriage" is useless without it. This is why you have those very subtle, nagging doubts that something isn't quite right.

Last edited by GH31; 07/02/09 06:32 AM.
Me: 46
W: 46
T: 23
M: 20
DS12
DD11
DS5

W left: 01/28/08
Discovered OM: 02/26/08
W back for 9 days: 04/08
W returned 05/21/08
EA/PA - 01/08-07/09
W's MLC 2008-2014 (realised this much later)