One thing I am learning is that you cannot force yourself to move forward,you just have to let it happen. I feel like I am making progress but I still cry often about it. I look forward to the day its just a memory and not my current reality. Probably the most difficult thing is having friends and family that don't understand. My brother is going through a pretty bad breakup so he can relate to me the most right now...but I get so tired of my friends saying "your better off" "he was a jerk anyway" "you need to move on"....gee, if it were that easy I think I would have chose that route about a year ago.
Thats why I am glad I can be here to journal. Nothing feels real. I just feel like he has been gone on a deployment (he use to be in the military) and that he will be coming home soon. I took the news of him being interested in a particular girl not so well. I had my little fit then I got over it. Of course she is the exact opposite of me. You know, the girl that acts like a guy, rides dirt bikes, agrees with the guys when they say a chick is hot...so that is what he thinks he wants because he all of a sudden got into dirt bike riding after we separated..that newness will only last for so long.
Somedays I feel like packing everything up and just running away from this place where there are so many memories, chances of running into him..but somehow I suck it up and get through each day. Until next time......
