WAW and 4 kids

[tryingtilDorR]

Here is an update on the sitch - over the past 2 weekends we have spent time apart. She left town both weekends with different children. First she went on a weekend trip with MIL/SIL and S10 and S12. Then she went on another trip the following weekend with D15. During these times away we had minimal contact. In fact she never called me directly - I called her a few times to see what was going on with her and kids and if she made calls it was directly to our kids. She seemed like she was trying out what it would be like if we were D and had to leave kids with the other spouse without talking to them.

When she got home for whatever reason things were tense this week. We had a couple of arguments over R which I had been doing a good job of avoiding. I think having her in the other room gets to me on some occasions and creates a stressful undercurrent around the house in in the R.

The big fight last night was that I had been trying to do some research into the criminal record of OM in case she leaves and I want to file a restraining order to prevent contact between OM and my kids and she found out by reading my email. She was pretty angry, and said the kids can be around whomever she decides to be with, etc etc. I told her that I hoped it wouldn't go that far.

I later told her that since we have both done things that we need to forgive why not wipe the slate clean and start over? She has lots of resentment over my past behavior and lack of trying to work on M, and I have resentment over the EA. It seems so simple but not to a WAW I Realize!